Blind Date
by yourstrulydani
Summary: Mundungus Fletcher just needs a little love this Valentine's Day. Warnings : Mentions of drugs and alcohol.


**Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry Magical Objects and Their Uses Assignment #4 **

**Weekly AU! Competition / Prompt : Blind Date!AU**

**Would You Rather Challenge / Prompt : Read Minds (Without Legilimency)**

**Greek Mythology Mega Prompt Challenge / Prompt : #29 Eros - Write about Valentine's Day**

* * *

"Mundungus! I swear, if I catch you nicking my customers' belongings another time, I'll ban you here in the Three Broomsticks! Friend, or not!" Rosmerta threatened, banging her fist on the counter between them. Mundungus had a big mug of warm beer in his hand, occasionally taking huge gulps from it as Rosmerta droned on. "-Dung, are you even listening?" Rosmerta snapped her fingers in front of him.

"Oh, sorry. Awful day. I totally don't dig the hearts and roses decorations here, so what's with the sudden change?" Mundungus grunted, pointing to the red and pink decorations adorning every blank space of wall of the pub.

"Valentine's Day is in a week, Dung. Go find yourself a lady and not nick my customer's things." Rosmerta ordered him, scowling whilst she cleaned mugs and glasses in front of him. "Assuming a woman would be interested in you.." she muttered under her breath, although not as low as she intended it to be.

Instead of getting angry at the fact, Mundungus considered it. Mundungus was in his late thirties, no job, barely any money and a small space of a house. He nicked stuff to sell and sold drugs to rich, Pureblood families in order to survive. He had a balding head, unattractive features, pudgy limbs and an average stature. How would any woman in their right mind want him? "You're right, Rosmerta." he sighed, defeated. "A woman would never be interested in me." he said in a dejected tone. "I don't wanna end up and die alone, Rosmerta. What am I going to do?"

Rosmerta pondered on a thought for a moment. "Well, I could set you up with a friend of mine on Valentines' Day... She's 35 and single, too. She's very lovely and is an excellent cook." she bit her bottom lip. Would her friend want a miserably guy like Dung? It was worth the try. It will only last for a day, that's all...

"Really, you would?" Dung brightened up, his bloodshot eyes flooding with life and hope for a happier Valentines' Day.

Rosmerta sighed. She's starting to pity her other friend for setting her up with a mess of a man. "Yes, in one condition."

"Anything, Rosmerta."

"I'll be the one to dress you up and get you ready for the blind date. I'll make you look more... presentable." Rosmerta lightly scratched her chin, looking at Mundungus up and down.

"Of course, of course." Dung waved her off, a thought forming in his mind. "Well, she's pretty, right? Nice body? I doubt I'll enjoy the date otherwise.."

Rosmerta smacked his head in response. "Look at you! You're hardly one to complain!"

"I know I'm not the handsome kind, no need to rub it on my face." Dung scowled and proceeded to stand up. "Well, I think I should get going. I'll buy myself new robes from Gladrags' or maybe Twillfit and Tattings if I have the money. I might have my beard trimmed, too." He saluted Rosmerta as he made his way to the exit.

"Don't forget, Dung! Valentines' Day, 3 in the afternoon! Oh, please bring your most decent attitude, will you?" Rosmerta called out after him.

* * *

Valentines' Day came, and Rosmerta was more nervous for the blind date she set up than Dung, who was overexcited for his date. He came in the shop with an aura far different from his usual. He wore midnight blue robes that looked posh on him, and his beard was noticeably shorter and more clean-cut. Mundungus Fletcher looked decent. Handsome, even. "Dung! You look-" she studied him more, "-dashing!" Rosmerta grinned. Maybe she didn't have to dress him up, after all. Other people in the pub started staring at the sudden change in Dung.

"Cheers, Dung!" "Don't go nicking out stuff this time, Mundungus!" "You look bloody decent today, Fletcher!"

Mundungus just chuckled and sat himself in front of Rosmerta. "It cost a small fortune, but I think it's worth it." he grinned smugly.

"We'll just have to wait for your lady, then. I don't think I'll have to orient you with any manners and dining basics, after all. She'll be here in about an hour and a half." she proudly smiled at him, handing him a free drink. "Thanks, 'Merta."

* * *

An hour and a half came, and Mundungus grew anxious. His heart picked up it's rate every time a lone woman entered the pub, but only with their man following behind. He sighed, nervous, and rubbed his eyes, until Rosmerta spoke near him. "There she is. Be nice to her, alright? Her name is Molly Prewett and she's a Pureblood. Now, go!" Rosmerta pushed him off of his seat.

Mundungus found his feet walking towards the table where the lovely Molly Prewett sat, nervously fiddling on her hair. She had scarlet hair that was close to orange, and dazzling bright brown eyes filled with life. Molly Prewett was the epitome of beautiful. "H-Hi." Dung stuttered, standing by her booth. "You must be Molly."

"That I am. You must be Mundungus Fletcher, my date for today?" Molly looked up with a stunning smile adorning her lips, making her eyes brighter.

"Luckily." Dung smoothly answered, sliding down the seat in front of her.

Rosmerta arrived, asking for their orders with a knowing smile. Someone must have read the other's mind because they both said, "Pecan Pie and Honeywater with Monkshood, please." They turned towards each other in surprise. "Wow." They said in chorus.

Soon, their meals were served and the pair talked and talked all day, ordering more pecan pies and mugs of honeywater until the shop closed near dawn.


End file.
